Stephen Baldwin: An Unusual Suspect

Check out his book The Unusual Suspect. ;)

People might think I'm a zealot, but I am far from that. I just can't get over something that now has made me feel worthy and alive and awake! I feel I am getting closer to my purpose. That God has become more of a friend to me than a stranger. If that turns people off, so be it. I don't wish to scare off people either who might not have reached my level of faith. I am open to all views, but only ask that you be open to mine as well :)
*THIS WAS WRITTEN BY THE BLOG'S AUTHOR AND NOT THE PERSON FEATURED ABOVE*

Spritual Cornucopia

In honor of Thanksgiving coming up, I post this special blog of a certain awareness and gratefulness from which I received tonight at mass. I have experienced (forgive the mix of theologies) "zen" moments in the past, though few. They made me feel a special connection as though God were speaking to me, giving me a sense of peace. That is the certain feeling I felt tonight. Particularly with the priest's homily...In it, he describes moments in our lives when we experience doubt, be it through death of loved ones, illness, loss of job, extramarital affairs, wars. The list could go on. But then he retells his college encounter listening to a priest who instilled in him this message: "If you allow Jesus Christ into your life, all of your problems will be solved." Tonight's mass celebrant related how he asked himself then, "Really? ALL of my problems?"...Well, not our credit card debts or what not, but in those real trials of faith, God will be there for us...I don't know. Maybe it's my female hormones as I get older, but I felt like I wanted to cry. Lately, I've had a hunger and thirst to experience God in my life. I must trust in HIs timing, but I am only human...

Prior to mass, I decided to put into memory the prayer of ANIMA CHRISTI



SOUL of CHRIST, sanctify me;
BODY of CHRIST, save me;
BLOOD of CHRIST, inebriate me;
WATER from the side of CHRIST, wash me;
PASSION of CHRIST, strengthen me;
O, good JESUS, hear me;
Within your WOUNDS, hide me;
Separated from you, let me never be;
From evil, protect me;
At the hour of my DEATH, call me.
At your side, bid me;
That with your saints, let me be;
PRAISING you forever and ever.
AMEN.

The priest related his introduction to his sermon to the Gospel that discussed that there will be time of suffering before Jesus is to return...It is like predicting the weather. When you sense a change in environment, you will know that summer is coming. Much in the same way that Jesus will return. I found it poetic, that first the following must occur before light is to befall us again:



...the sun will turn dark
the moon will cast no light
and the stars will fall from the sky

How often do we ourselves feel like this everyday?...Perfect lyrics for a song...Only wish I got my voice back to compose and sing it :(...But God has something better waiting for me I suppose ;)

THINK BIG

http://www.achievement.org/autodoc/page/car1bio-1

I got inspired lately. We need real life heroes these days. THough I'm into the show HEROES, we must look to those who help us see the hero within.... I like the anagram mentioned in the above link that successful neurosurgeon Ben Carson (successful doctor of separating siamese twins joined at the back of the head):


T - alent : we are given many talents; nurture the intellectual talents as well
H - onesty: lead a good life; build no skeletons that will come back to haunt you
I - nsight: comes from people like Ben Carson, people we might like to become and can learn from their triumphs & mistakes
N- ice: be nice to others and they'll be nice to you
K- nowledge: makes you needed by others and valuable part of society

B-ooks: mechanisms for learning
I-n-Depth Learning: learn for sake of knowledge and understanding; NOT to impress others
G- od: never leave Him behind

Seek true empower heroes and mentors so that you can be a hero and mentor to someone else.

Art and God

http://www.dountoothers.org/stephenbaldwin.html



http://www.artakiane.com/home.htm


Two things were brought to me from God on two separate days. Last night, I spent an evening at Barnes & Noble, reading and whiling the hours alone as usual. A small reprieve for a busy life that is consumed by work. I find the greatest company between the front and back covers of books. They have always been trusted companions. Lately, my journey in life has led me to the Christian Inspirational section. So many books about defending ourselves against the attack of the Enemy. So many books on how to keep our focus on God. So many books on how to just rely on God and have faith that God will provide for us. We seek something that all of us wish to see....but cannot, which is frustrating for us as humans. In an age of instant gratification and seeing is believing, we raise a generation of doubting Thomases...I have become part of this group, yet seek signs from above that God will be there waiting to show Himself. Indeed He did just that. Twice within that evening it occurred. I came upon 2 books. The first was surprising. It was written by Steven Baldwin, yes, said actor notably appearing in the film The Usual Suspects. The book was titled The Unusual Suspect. It discussed his journey from mainstream Hollywood and its enticements and lure to his new ministry fueled by hardcore faith. (Copy & paste link below Stephen's picture...I like how he is posing. It recalls a pose of my once said fave actor James Dean, a rebel in his way, but when thinking of rebelling, what better way to rebel against the world than to rebel as Jesus did!) The second book spoke to the budding artist dying to come out within me. But some of us are born with a mission, as in the book of AKIANE, a young girl who wakes her mom, an atheist at the time, to say that she met God...You must pick up the book to read her story and see for yourself the amazing paintings she had God paint through her. One suspects that she has seen the true image of Christ!!!!! What a blessed child...And evidence that God does truly exists!

Small things like these raise me up, but even more when I went to church today.

My attenae highly tuned to God today, I heard every word that was said at mass. Perhaps it was the young seminarian's dynamic way of speaking in almost a child like air, innocent yet profound in his message. I prayed that God would reenter my life, and suddenly I was brought with an inspiration. Looking at the communion of people in this church, I thought of stories each of these people might share. The music ministry inspired a potential story of a family of musicians suddenly struck by a crisis of faith within the church and must refocus their mission if it is truly meaningful. Then I thought of the families randomly coming and going as church ended. What trials and tests were they enduring?...IN my own private prayer after receiving the eucharist and wine, I prayed that God would send me his guidance and words to inspire me... Through a random person who I have seen on occassion in church, I met a man into the arts!!! A painter no less from the Academy of Fine Arts! His intensity was truly apparrent. Often times, such intensity can be scary, but perhaps that is what artists are-intense...Interestingly enough, this man introduced himself on the assumption that by my looks I might be a person who is into art...He was right...Through hiim though some things felt a little scrambled in his message (unlike that of the young seminarian, which I felt a peace and comfort), I learned another tid bit...that God comes from within, something you cannot learn from books. Well, the one book I will learn from is the greatest book ever...The Bible...and through the Word of God, I am at the ready, either to defend against the Enemy or inspire others through my actions-either as a nurse or an artist or a writer, or all three combined. I also felt that God was working through this man in what he said that one of his teachers was a nurse AND an artist, while when he himself was teaching one of his students said, "I don't think I can be an artist. I'm going to be a nurse."..."Why can't you be both?" were his words (Mr. J. I'll call him).

He might appear a little offsetting, but what about Jesus? Did he not ruffle the feathers of some people not use to what he was teaching? Better to keep an open mind than to miss out on a big lesson the Lord might be teaching us through His creation.

In closing, I reflect on my relationship with others. Friendships have always been a mystery for me to maintain, and kept those afar most valued, for it seems absence makes the heart grow fonder...and even more patient and understanding. How often I've been hurt by those I consider trustworthy and compassionate. In putting my place in God's, I have always been quick to forgive and forget, though my mother would say it makes me an easy target for others to walk all over me. Perhaps this is so, and I pray for God to give me the self-confidence to know where my battles require me to take my position and defend myself. But otherwise, I have seen myself in the position of God trying to keep His love with those He had created. Does it not pain Him if they have rejected Him? Ignored Him? Cursed Him?...Do unto others as you would like to have been treated...Is that not a human quality exposed in God?...That perhaps he too gets sad when we don't call Him through prayer or seek His counsel, or hang out his house for just even an hour? Relationships are hard to maintain....Do we seek the right ones?...WHy do we stay in abusive ones? Because there isn't anything else better or available? My goal is to find friendship with my Lord, to direct and guide me and hope one day I can be as moved as these people mentioned above were. Go to the links to learn more and do your own Google research or go to Barnes & Noble...Though I've been told, God is not found in books, it is within.....had I not found the books above, I would not have found any evidence of how great God can move people deeply, whether it be a formerly indulgent actor or through the purity of a child with the wisdom greater than any elder I've known!!!!


peace, and keep witnessing God's works to others by producing your own works of art!


P.S. I plan on taking a course at St Charles on youth ministry....If it is God's will, so it shall be done...

A Twist on Creation

Recall Genesis and the sin of Adam & Eve? Or better, the temptation of Eve?...Now, recall the words of the devil enticing Eve to eat of the Forbidden Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge?...What happened?...The fall of man....

The devil in this example played on Eve's desire to be powerful and all knowing, as God! She was deceived to think that "surely she would not die...Did not God say to eat off all the trees?....(How convenient the devil did not remind her of God's next condition, "But of the Tree of Knowledge you are not to eat!" How many times we've done this in our own lives, removing the context of what has been asked of us only to rationalize our decisions and behaviors...

Being a person to interject faith now in every waking part of life, I try to wax theology with media. We need to see how God can speak to us. The above illustrates Nacho's (Ignacio's) human need for power, more specifically super strength to be the greatest luchador! Esquelto, his sidekick, tells him that there is a man (symbolism of the devil perhaps) who knows where to get eagle eggs (the forbidden fruit). In his quest, Ignacio must climb a cliff and eat of the yolk of the egg to fulfill his wish...What follows is a great dive into the water (fall of man)....Did Ignacio receive any super strength? No (deception)

Though charming also in itself, Ignacio has suddenly found feelings for a nun Sister Incarnacion...With their vows, they have been good at not breaking, though Ignacio is wiling to break them as seen in another scene in the movie...The end of the film may seem like an improvement, for he redirects his energies to the orphanage but with still lingering feelings for Sister Incarnacion...We can only hope that they become lay missionaries in the end if they are no longer able to uphold their religious vows

But seriousness aside, I found it odd how I found this connection...Maybe it's an after effect for reading my Bible dailly...and as Martha Stewart would say, "And that's a good thing."

Getting One's Fill

I know it's out of season to be fasting. It isn't Lent according to my religion, but of late I guess you might say its a personal penance of mine I'm undertaking. What I discovered how suddenly I no longer fill myself with material wants or even excess of food (although I still have my Starbucks weakness-everyone has a vice). I feel rejuvenated at the fact how I've been able to cut down on my eating and become productive again in terms of reading and writing, though it has been a slow uphill climb.

What has helped me? The Word no less. Fill one's mind and soul and the rest takes care of itself. I read on random the longest Psalm,#119. In it are all the priniciples I must undertake to stay strong in the fight I'm currently battling. I know, maybe I'm taking things too seriously, but things become out of control when our defenses are down.

No more fast food. No more sodas. More of purging myself of everything that seems unclean to me, with some moderation here and there. Hey, I'm not going to starve myself. The ascetic lifestyle is more fitted for monks ;) Although, my body would benefit from a little bit more manual labor, outside of regular work that pays the bills that is ;)

Selah!

Contest of Two Wills

Before I stated how I was downtroddened about why God took away the only thing that really made me feel special and worthy in my eyes. Music is like creating something out of love, much like God created Adam and Eve. For me, each song is like a child I wish the world to hear and raise lovingly in their hearts. How shocked I was to think God suddenly would take this away...

I partly referred to God sending the devil's forces to test my faith. But then, at the same time, I wondered after reading the above book, more preciesely that the devil entered on his own accord and took my gift away then later deceiving me so quickly to blame God for removing a huge part of myself that makes me whole inside. His intention? To make me less a witness to God and less a believer that God is truly my defender in life.



So, the battle of good and evil continues. Perhaps that is why I am beginning to appreciate the Star Wars mythology. The Dark Side and The Force. One can be compelled to join the Dark Side (all about power) versus seeking balance in the universe (way of the Jedi). I mentioned in one of my million blogs how there exists an Anakin and a Luke Skywalker within us all. We ultimately decide which side to fall towards. We choose our path and our destiny depending on what light (or lack of light) we decide to use to guide our steps.

May the force be with you, always!

(Peace be with you!)

Strengthening the Buttresses of Faith

I spontaneously found the church where I was baptized on my quest looking for a Starbucks I spotted earlier nearby. The church compelled me to enter and I felt a peace that I hadn't felt in a long time. I opted out of taking my usual Starbucks run to be filled with the Spirit versus a caramel macchiatto. That day would remind me of the following days thereafter where I searched for meaning and peace in my life. Dissatisfied with how my life was going I said a prayer and lit a candle for various intentions.

Lately, I have had another weakening of spirit. It can happen for different reasons. For one, it had something to do with what seemed likea falling out with a friend only to be misunderstood as venting from a very tired long day at school, though I still feel the aftershock. Apology accepted, forgive and forget, is my religious credo so we have patched things nicely. However, there has been another nick in my triumph over the compromising of one's faith. For some reason, I was doing quite nicely, reading the bible everyday, in the goal of trying to read the bible in its entirety by the end of the year...Perhaps caught on interpretation or dissonance in the way I believed versus what I read, I felt a frustration and stopped in my spiritual path.

Now stunted, I feel even more weaker than before! In the times when I was actively seeking God's presence in my life, I felt rejuvenated. Life had meaning. I was not afraid of anything or any of my own weaknesses, many of which I thought I had overcome. It seems funny how when the soul lapses back into usual MO, the harder it is to get back each time to where one has left off. Guilt and shame are key factors in my religion and often times it helps one refocus, but also can harbor self resentment in the way one feels he or she has become. It makes one question if he or she is worthy of God sometimes....

But just like a friend as mentioned before who dissed me, I had dissed God in some way?...Yet I know in my heart of hearts He forgives me and forgets what I have done out of simply being human.

Lord, I beseech you to intercede on my behalf again. I do not wish to slip back into that darkness where I no longer uttered your name unless to spite you. Lord, please, I beg your friendship to help me overcome what is to follow.